cogitationbox | Voice Test Dipper Edition

[She gives a thumbs up with a bright smile, showing off her mouth full of braces.]

You got it! I'll do my best!

[... There is a pause, though. And then she sounds (hilariously because she's like... 12) fierce and disciplined.]

But don't blame me if Grunkle Stan wants to make you an attraction. You gotta work to eat here!

I was the "Preteen Wolf Boy" for about a week and it was just as awful as it sounds.

[There's a moment where he considers this, and his shoulders sag a bit. So what will he be then? The amazing hand-in-TV boy? Awkward Teenage Wolf Boy? Come see Yosuke, the Amazing Luckless Human and marvel at his terrible luck?]

I'm going to hope he just needs someone to hang signs or something.

[Mabel will negotiate for him.] He's got Soos for that. Maybe you can stand outside and throw nails on the concrete so people's tires will burst and they'll come visit!

[... You fucking know Stan's done it.]

[You won't see Dipper questioning it, that's for sure.]

I'm sure he'll figure out something.

[He sighs in defeat.]

I'd say to mention that I work retail back home but it probably won't matter. I'm sure whatever he comes up with can't be that bad.

[Fingers crossed for no crossdressing]

Yeah, Wendy's got that covered, too. And Dipper'd be upset if you took her time. [Mabel stop.]

[MABEL STOP.]

MABEL!

I mean, um, Mabel, don't you have a Grunkle to negotiate with? You should get going.

[This is totally not nervous laughter what are you talking about.]

[Yosuke is confused for a few moments, but it doesn't take him long to piece it together. Sorry Dipper, but teasing mode has been engaged.]

It's alright Dipper, I'd ask to be a wolf boy with you before I move in on your girlfriend's territory.

[Mabel has done her job well. She grins, hiding her mouth behind her hand.] Okay, but you have to figure out what job he's gonna do!

Yeah, fine, whatever. Just get going, Mabel.

Man, so quick to kick your sister out! I guess you must want to have a man to man talk about this Wendy then...

[Mabel is giggling her way out of the room to find Stan.

She loves you, brobro. Really.]

[Grunkle Stan won't be too hard to find, judging from the sounds of Baby Fights coming from the living room.]

Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Hello Grunkle Stan it is your favorite great niece here to ~~bother you speak to you about pressing issues. She leans over the arm of the chair to talk to him.]~~

Heeeeey, Grunkle Stan. Not to interrupt you from your TV watching, but I have a question for you.

[Oh no. He knows that tone of voice. This could potentially cost him money. Still, he can't bring himself to just ignore her.]

Alright, but make it quick. Someone needs to watch this shameless child exploitation!

[She makes it as quick as she can talking in a rushed voice.]

So Dipper picked up a teenage interdimensional drifter he found in the woods and we're going to keep him and he's cool and we're gonna keep him so we wanted to know if he could sleep on the couch he says he'll do stuff around the Mystery Shack and we'll feed him and take him on walks and everything, so it's okay right? Right. Okay I just wanted to make sure with you. [That's all said in one breath.]

[Keeping a teenager as a pet? This seems like the sort of thing a parent wouldn't let kids do. Good thing he's an uncle!]

I don't know... you're sure he'll work for free?

I give you the Mabel guarantee!

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What? No, no, I don't need to talk about Wendy. Everything's fine.

Well then brag a little! I promise, I won't get too jealous over a kid having way better luck with the ladies than me.

It's not like that! We're not dating. Not even close. She's like 15 and I'm 12. We're friends. Just friends.

Three years? That's not too bad... but I guess at that age, it kind of is. So then, any cuties your own age you've got an eye on?

Nah. Mabel's friends are weird and Pacifica...

[He shrugs. Honestly, he's not sure what he thinks about her anymore.]

[Well, they at least have one thing in common. Too bad it's a crappy thing, but hey!]

Hey, don't worry too much about it. You're young, and there's plenty of time to figure out what and who you're interested in. You never know when someone will show up and sweep you off your feet!