apostsassy: (It's not like I have much of a choice.)
Shael ([personal profile] apostsassy) wrote in [community profile] cogitationbox2017-04-22 08:40 pm

(no subject)



[You don't say no if the Inquisitor requests to speak to you.

It was an unspoken rule that was more common sense than anything. If the head of the organization you are part of wants to see you there are very few reasons in which you would say no. That being said, if the only reason you're with said organization is because you were very graciously granted asylum after being captured by very angry guards who were bent on sending you to the nearest group of Templars at their earliest convenience you absolutely do not ever refuse a request from the person in charge.

Shael had only ever spoken to the Inquisitor once after he was conscripted and that was to thank him. He'd since seen him around Skyhold, but never spoke another word to him other than a brief hello from time to time. The man seemed affable enough, but to be honest Shael had no desire to talk to him. He liked the relative solitude Skyhold afforded him. The rumors about Shael's rather abrasive personality as well as the circumstances surrounding his conscription had spread through the hold like wildfire so he was often left to his own devices. With the exception of Leilith who had no concept of personal space or an ounce of tact, there weren't many people who wanted to go out of their way to talk to a surly, potentially dangerous, apostate.

He found it curious, and a bit frightening, when he heard rumors that the Inquisitor was looking for him and wanted to speak with him. Shael being Shael, he immediately assumed the worst -- that he was going to be kicked out. He hadn't shown himself to be useful enough. He wasn't worth the trouble he brought with him.

He starts a little when the man approaches him, swallowing thickly and bracing himself for bad news.]


... Is there something I can help you with, Inquisitor?
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-23 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Having talked to Adanna about Shael--because yes, she's the one he charmed into telling him about the other mage, though she was still fairly guarded, and wasn't nearly as talkative as he would've liked--this story is about what Taliesin expected. Particularly the loss of control, and the multiple reasons behind it. The running, though...

He takes a moment to process the whole unexpectedly emotional and forthcoming rush of information, turning it over carefully and weighing his words before he speaks.]


I can't say I find any fault with you for wanting to protect your sister. It's something any good brother would do, no matter the cost to himself. And men like those guards, who have no concept of decency and no consideration for how deeply their actions might affect others...well, in my opinion, they deserve whatever punishment they receive.

[Forcing oneself on a lady, regardless of her race or social standing, was unforgivable, and even though it's an event that took place long ago in the past, it still sends a prickle of anger down Taliesin's spine.]

...That said, it was quite a lucky thing that you didn't harm your sister in your outburst.

[There still isn't a trace of judgement, only steady regard and continued curiosity as Taliesin asks another question.]

Did you never consider the fact that you might harm someone with your magic, completely on accident? That being untrained made you a potential danger to anyone you might come to care about?

[That was the reason that Taliesin himself had submitted to Circle life, and had never once attempted to run away. He hated the confines of the Tower, the uncomfortably close quarters and being treated like a prisoner or worse, but...even as a twelve-year-old child, he had understood the necessity of it. That if he had remained with his family, he would have killed someone, or fallen prey to a demon, or a horribly messy combination of both.]

Most people give similar treatment both to alienages and the Circle. "It's for your own good," they say, without truly knowing anything about what goes on in such places. In the case of alienages, they are completely and utterly mistaken, for nothing good comes from such places that I've seen, other than the people themselves.

In the case of the Circle, they are partially right: it's a place where mages can receive training from other mages, and learn to harness and control their magic, an unrivaled source of knowledge and support. But...it is also a cage, and depending on where you come to roost, the jailers are not always kind, and do not always see magic as a gift, but rather as a curse. And so I understand why you would run from such a thing.

...And yet...

And yet, wasn't it selfish to run? To value your own freedom over the lives and well-being of others? Or did you run primarily because you feared the punishment that might befall you for killing those guards in Denerim? Because "the word of an elf" would mean less than nothing to those in charge of the city?

[And still, there isn't a trace of any sort of judgement. Only the earnest, impartial intention to understand how the person seated before him works.]
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-24 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Irving would have listened. And he would have made Greagoir listen as well. And if he's any judge, the age difference between himself and Shael is roughly ten years or so, which meant Taliesin himself likely would have been present in the Circle Tower as well. Between the three of them, they could have protected Shael, and would never have turned him over to the crooked guardsmen and power-crazed nobles of Denerim.

But could have and would have meant nothing now. It's a thing long past, water long gone under the bridge, and it wouldn't do any good to tell Shael here and now what his frightened ten-year-old self should have done back then. He'd had no way of knowing how kind and yet stern and protective the First Enchanter was, or how strict but fair the Knight-Commander was, or that there were other influential mages there who would do their damnedest protect him, elf or not, child or not, accidental murderer or not. He had known next to nothing about the Circle, and he had known far too much about alienages, so he couldn't be blamed for being afraid to exchange one cage for another.]


It was not the bravest choice, mayhap, and not the best one either, it's true. But it is the one you made, and you have had to live with it, so I should think you know that quite well.

[He pauses briefly to take a drink--the brandy really is very good--then continues,]

In any case, it seems to me that you've done a thorough enough job of blaming yourself all these years. You don't need anyone else to join in.

[Shael doesn't need a refill, he knows, but Taliesin takes up the bottle of brandy and closes the space between them to add a bit more liquor to his glass anyway.]

So then, if you knew so little, how did you come to learn to control your magic, if you don't mind my asking? If half of what I've heard about your current magical abilities is true, then you clearly found someone to teach you.

[He gives another soft chuckle as he returns to his previous spot, setting down the bottle then leaning back against the desk.]

The rumours would have me believe that you either joined a roving band of Rivaini performers or you were taken in by the Witch of the Wilds. Neither of which sounds too likely to me, truth be told.
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-25 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes even "a little more" ends up being too much. Particularly when the object in question is guilt.

[Taliesin has been doing everything--drinking, pouring the brandy, digging through the bag in the first place--with his right hand. He's had enough practise by now that he's no longer noticeably clumsy when he uses his off-hand, at least not to anyone else, but...now he uncurls his left hand, which he's casually kept at his side in a loosely-balled fist for most of their conversation, raising it enough that he can stare at the flickering green glow of the Anchor branded into his left palm. It gives a sudden flash and a crackle, temporarily sending crazy, wavering shadows darting through the room and playing across his face; and after a brief moment, the Inquisitor closes his fist and looks over at Shael with a smile that's so faint, it almost looks stretched thin.]

...And let's just say that I see no reason that a mysterious mark on my hand should give me any right to judge the mistakes of your past.

[The other mage's subtle indications of discomfort do not go unheeded. Truthfully, Shael had been a great deal more forthcoming about his past than Taliesin had expected...going by the actual rumors he'd heard around Skyhold about the elven apostate, which mainly consisted of variations on 'don't even bother with that one,' 'leave him alone if you aren't looking for a scathing tongue-lashing', and 'grumpier than an incontinent bear roused from hibernation three months too soon' and Maker bless you for that comparison, Varric.

Shael has been quite accommodating, all things considered, and Taliesin is satisfied with what he's learned, at least for the present. Unlike Leilith, he knows when enough is enough. Tactically speaking, it would be far better to end this now, on a more or less positive note, rather than try to drag more and more information out of a less and less willing source. There would be time later for further conversation with this curiously interesting and compellingly reticent mage.

Taliesin would make certain of that, too.]


Well, enlightening as this conversation has been, I think I've kept you from your books and your solitude long enough for one day. I suppose our little game of truth-or-falsehood is at an end, then...

[He heaves a clearly theatrical sigh, and though his smile has the same genial curve to it as ever, there's an obvious twinkle of mischief in his bright green eyes.]

Alas, more's the pity. There were a great deal more rumours I wanted to ask you about, several of which were fantastically unbelievable...
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-25 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
[.......And thus the trap snaps shut...

Swallowing his smirk and showing an amused grin instead, Taliesin spreads his hands in a helpless shrug.]


So fantastical that they border on the absurd--at least, I should very much hope they aren't rooted in truth. Particularly the one about your habit of bathing in fresh pig’s blood on the night of every full moon.
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-25 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
[There's something immensely satisfying about drawing a genuine laugh out of someone who clearly doesn't do so often, Taliesin thinks. It sends a pang of something like remorse through him, and almost makes him want to stop there and forget the rest of what he'd come here to say, but...he doesn't. He can't. Like always, he has his reasons.

And so the Inquisitor chuckles as well--more at Shael's reaction than anything, really--and pushes onward.]


Pure foolishness, I know. That was the most outlandish of the lot. The rest were decidedly more benign.

[He makes a show of ticking them off on his fingers as he goes on,]

There was one concerning your for some reason very secret sweet-tooth, a few regarding your uncontested skill in the kitchen, and also several about you having an inclination for taking your interest in books too far, whatever that means.

[Tal pauses a moment, then snaps his fingers, brightening a bit as if he’d just suddenly remembered something and as if he hadn’t been working his way towards this question the entire time, what a liar.]

...Ah yes, there was one more…


[Varric Tethras had been the first person Taliesin had gone to when he started his quest for information about Shael. Varric had known a few things about the reclusive elf, more than most, and he’d also known what the most common rumors concerning the apostate mage were. Taliesin had thanked his dwarven friend for the information, played a few hands of Wicked Grace, paid both their tabs, then turned to go, intent on heading off to find Shael.

“By the way, Sterling…”

Taliesin had turned back around in an instant, brimming with curiosity at the subtly devious undertone he’d heard in those four words. “Yes, Varric?”

“Just be certain you do manage to ask Sunshine about that rumour of him being secretly head over heels for another member of the Inquisition.”

Tal had quirked a questioning eyebrow at that, his default smile going a bit cunning as he turned his head slightly in an unspoken, Why, pray tell?

“...Just do it,” Varric had said with a fittingly roguish smile. “Trust me.”

There were few people that Taliesin trusted more. He’d said as much back then, earning himself a pleased chuckle from the handsome dwarf, and he’d meant it. Which was why, here and now, he did exactly as Varric had instructed:]



Most wide-spread and intriguing of all were the whispers concerning your long-denied, deeply secret, and decidedly romantic affections for another member of the Inquisition…
Edited 2017-04-25 03:40 (UTC)
magerpain: (Rift in the world?)

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-26 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
[That reaction from Shael suddenly makes it perfectly clear to Taliesin why Varric had wanted him to be sure to bring up this particular rumor. Ahhhhh, sweet denial... In that case, we'd best give this another gentle push, shan't we...

The Inquisitor raises an eyebrow at Shael, his expression matter-of-fact and just slightly skeptical.]


If she was the first person to come to your mind--and very quickly, too, I might add--are the rumors really so baseless?

[He gives another shrug, then knocks back the rest of his glass of brandy before adding,]

It seems like you do a good enough job keeping everyone else at arm's length. So, either you're intentionally less harsh with her than you are with the rest of your comrades, or she sees something in your behaviour towards her that makes her unable to leave you alone, regardless of your inclination for verbal truculence.
magerpain: Because a vision softly creepi- ACTUALLY NO, MY TIME IN THE FADE HAS NOT BEEN "SOFT" AT ALL B| (Hello Darkness my old friend~)

Tal: /MIC DROP, INQUISITOR *OUT*

[personal profile] magerpain 2017-04-26 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Methinks the elf doth protest too much, he thinks with an inward smile, though outwardly Taliesin pauses in closing up the bag he'd used to carry the brandy and the glasses, instead holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender.]

I'm only telling you what the rumor said. I haven't seen the two of you interact in any meaningful sort of way, so my opinion counts for less than nothing here. Still, I can't help but wonder...

[Slinging the bag over his shoulder and pointedly leaving the brandy on the desk, he looks Shael straight in the eyes and leaves him with one final question, this one rhetorical:]

Why do you feel the need to try so hard to push her away?

[Letting his words linger between them for a moment, he gives Shael a meaningful look, then turns to make his way back up the stairs, though not before taking his leave a bit more gracefully.]

You have my thanks for answering my questions so honestly, by the way. I know it must've rankled a bit, perhaps more than a bit, having to speak of such things after so long, but...I do appreciate it, Shael.

[And unless Shael calls out to him, he'll give the other mage one last smile, then unhurriedly take the stairs, heading for his quarters without a backwards glance.]
Edited 2017-04-26 02:15 (UTC)
questionseverything: (COOL STORY BRO)

AND HERE COMES *EXACTLY* THE PERSON HE WANTS TO SEE RIGHT NOW

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-04-26 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Dalish or not, he doubtless hears her coming well before she actually comes into view. Then again, Leilith isn't particularly trying to be quiet; maybe it's subconscious, inborn wild wood-elf instincts coming to the fore, but she'd rather not surprise the twitchy apostate mage who specializes in fire magic.

And so she yanks open the door leading down into the cellar without care, letting it swing closed behind her, and comes clattering down the stairs, a whirlwind of life and questions and constant motion.

The Shael she finds, though, seems somewhat different than usual. He doesn't immediately tell her off for being loud on her way down, or for letting the door slam, for starters. He's let most the candles burn down and drown in their own wax, or gutter out from the general draftiness of the basement. And he seems pretty withdraw and moody, even for him.

The five years or so that they've known each other haven't changed her much: she's still tiny, still stubborn and strong-willed, still oblivious to far too many things. The vallaslin on her face and the way she braids her hair are really all that's changed over the years. Which means the only thing for this situation is...a blunt statement, followed by (as usual) a question.]


...You're sitting all alone down here in the dark, you know. What's the matter with you?
Edited 2017-04-26 03:14 (UTC)
questionseverything: (LIKE A BOSS)

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-04-27 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
[...That's just about the mildest greeting she's gotten from him, ever. It's distinctly out-of-character, as is that bottle of alcohol and the especially noteworthy lack of reading material.

Thinking isn't out of character for him, of course. But doing so like this is...strange.]


Thinking? [Coming up beside him, she reaches for the bottle of brandy, curious as to what he's been drinking...and also why.] About what?
questionseverything: (LIKE A BOSS)

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-04-28 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[There, that's a little more like the usual Shael. Not quite as mean, but maybe alcohol took the edge off him a bit. It's not enough to spark her temper, anyway, at least not yet, though she does scowl at him a bit skeptically.]

I didn't realize that asking a friend if something is wrong when they're acting really strangely was a stupid, vapid question.

[Leilith isn't surprised to hear that the Inquisitor stopped by. He'd been asking around about Shael, which had seemed strange, and he'd even sought her out to ask what she knew about the elven apostate.

Though Leilith's first inclination had been to share what she knew, she resisted--it had been hard enough to get Shael to open up to her at all, and most of what she knew about him had been hard-won. Besides, she wasn't a gossip: if Shael wanted Taliesin to know things, then the Inquistor should ask him himself. She'd said as much, which had made the tall, redheaded mage's mouth twitch in amusement, bright green eyes sparkling with mirth. He'd genially acknowledged her point, then asked if there was anything she knew about her friend that she didn't think he would mind her sharing. At that she'd relented somewhat (it had nothing to do with the fact that his eyes were very strikingly green, fringed about with lashes that were almost unfairly long and dark) and told him that kind of thing--her suspicions about Shael's possible sweet tooth, the fact that he was a good cook, but nothing more. Nothing truly personal.]


How you feel about it? What on earth did you talk about, then? I mean, supposing you did actually really talk to him instead of avoiding all his questions, like you always do with me.
questionseverything: (WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME)

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-04-30 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[Leilith nods along at the first part of what he says, and is replying the instant he's done.]

Yeah, he came around and asked about you, which seemed pretty strange truth be told, but I didn't think it was really any of his business and told him so, and also to ask you instead of me if he wanted to know things about you. So no, I didn't tell him anything like that-

[-And then it hits her that yeah, that...was very much a compliment. Shael had said it all so matter-of-factly that she'd almost missed it, but...those were all very nice things. Almost too nice for her to believe that he believes them, but...he's seeming abnormally loose-tongued tonight, doubtless because of that alcohol, and Shael certainly isn't the type to waste time on empty flattery, at least not with someone like her, so...he must really mean it.

It sends a spark of warmth through her, straight down to her booted toes, which she can't stop from giving a reflexive wriggle of pleasure.

He trusts her.

Maybe they really were friends after all.

Those thoughts are what she's focused on for a few seconds, so she only half-hears most of what he says about Adanna, but his laughter brings her back to what he's saying. Because Shael doesn't laugh often, and usually it's sarcastic, scornful laughter when he does (though she does rather treasure the few times it's been honest and genuine amusement), but this...isn't that kind of laughter. It's...helpless laughter. And she's not sure she likes hearing it come from him.

A pugnacious little scowl pinches her face.]


...He's still just a man, you know. Inquisitor or not.
questionseverything: (COOL STORY BRO)

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-04-30 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[She hasn't forgotten that he was conscripted. That had been one of the few things Shael had been quite forthcoming about. Enough so that she can't help but mutter under her breath,]

...How could I ever forget that when it's one of the few things you mention every chance you get...

[She listens to the rest of what he says about Taliesin and the conversation they'd had without comment, at least until the end.]

Why do you think he cares so much? Is it just because he's also a mage?

[Those first two questions are spoken with her usual light inquisitiveness; they come quick and sound almost a little absent, more reflexive curiosity than anything. Her last question, though...that one comes only after a pause, and her interest is a little more pointed.]

...Does that mean...you think most people would blame you for what you did?

[Normally she wouldn't even bother asking something like that. He'd just snap at her to mind her own business, or tell her off for something else. But tonight, what with the brandy and all, perhaps...perhaps he'll actually answer.]
questionseverything: (ARE YOU A WIZARD)

[personal profile] questionseverything 2017-05-07 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's right. She can't say that he isn't. Leilith isn't as naive as she once was; she's seen how elves are treated, and if she'd once thought the members of her own clan were treated badly by traders and travelers, well. She'd come to learn that that was nothing compared to how city elves were treated.

Shael would've been strung up, if he hadn't run. Child or not, intentional or not, it wouldn't have mattered. The human authorities wouldn't have listened to him, and even if they had, they would've sided with the guards.]


You're not wrong, but...

[...And yet...

...And yet, there's something about how he's talking about all of this that bothers her. And while it's true that she isn't as naive as she once was, she still isn't the most tactful person, still doesn't always think before she speaks. In any case, Leilith was never one to bite her tongue when she was talking to Shael, of all people. He was blunt with her, so it was only fair that she be blunt right back.]


...Y'know...it sounds to me like the person who blames you the most for all of this...is you.

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